When you have an extreme height difference with your significant other, some more popular sexual positions, sometimes, just don’t work out the same. Just to get into the mood, you have to awkwardly slouch down to even kiss her, or — even more awkwardly — you have to lift her up to your level. Just thinking about this during the action can really take you out of the moment and kill the mood. Anything that makes you self-conscious or anxious about having sex is a mood and libido killer.
And then the sex itself can be awkward. Missionary is great if you’re face to face, but if you’re looking at the floor or a pillow and her head is somewhere around chest level, that’s not too hot. There’s not too much there that’s creating any kind of emotional or physical connection. So, what can you do? Getting her stilts might be one of the unsexiest things that I can think of — plus there’s the whole years of practice thing to make it look even reasonably sexy when she walks in them that you’d have to get past. Try experimenting outside of the missionary sex position. You’ll find the pleasure that you’ve been looking for.
A great way to offset the height difference is to incorporate levels.
Sort of like that stilt idea, but much more reasonable. Find a surface that she can lay back on that will put her, even with a little bit of crouching, at crotch height for you. Have her where she’s lying on the edge of a table, a counter, or even your bed where, if you’re standing next to it, you can enter her. It will give you a better angle, some excellent leverage and keep you face to face so you can make eye contact, deepening the whole experience.
A lot of these positions that are good for couples with height difference will not accentuate face-to-face or eye-to-eye connections, so noting those that do may be important if that is something that sets the mood for either her or you.
One such position is what is referred to as reverse-cowgirl.
This position takes your height entirely out of the equation. You’re lying down. She straddles you. She rides you while facing away from you. This is — anecdotally and empirically — a very pleasurable angle for the woman, plus she gets to be in control of the rhythm and angle. This allows her to control how much attention her g-spot is getting during sex, and you can help guide the action with your hands. Don’t just lie there like a cold fish. Get involved. Find a good rhythm together.
Getting back to the face-to-face positions, one that is excellent for intimacy is the close-up position.
Here, you sit with your feet tucked beneath you. She then straddles you and wraps her legs around behind you. She’s placed slightly higher so you can make eye contact, make out, and set the mood for one another in a very physical way. It boosts the physical intimacy of the act for the two of you, and puts your eyes on a more equal playing field. It does put her more in control of the act itself as your legs being under you cuts off your leverage, but you can guide her with your arms and hands, and find a good rhythm together that way.
One position that puts you back in charge but also accentuates the angles to make things less awkward is called the snake.
In this one, she lies down on the bed, or whatever surface you’ve chosen for your sexual exploits for the night, and you enter her from behind. Entering her from behind is an excellent angle to stimulate her g-spot, and if the angle is not working, she can place a pillow at her pelvis the raise her up slightly, helping the angle of penetration find a more pleasurable route for you. This position also allows her to play with her own clitoris giving her some help in reaching climax faster… and more often.
Along the same lines is the spoon.
You’re already aware of spooning, and sometimes it might seem a little lazy, but it is a great position for men and women with height differences as it raises her up slightly. However, being on your side, your hand and arm are free to roam the front of her body. You can hit most of the erogenous zones that way to accentuate her pleasure. You can even make your way down to the clit if she seems like she’s getting close to help finish her off.
One last position to try is a popular one, and, as with many of these, incorporates entering her from behind to cut down on the poor angles of your height difference.
Have her kneel on all fours on the bed, floor, etc. You might also try a variation on the position we talked about above and have her perched on the bed if you have a bed that’s lower to the ground and you can enter her when standing on the floor. Any level that places her crotch at penis height for you. You then enter her. Here you both have power over the rhythm and angles being used. Therefore, you share in the outcome of of the experience. You also have access to her clit to help stimulate her, but the angle should be helping with that anyway.
Height difference can be awkward and put a cap on your libido if you’re self-conscious about it, but there are some easy ways around it that can make your sexual experiences with your partner or your significant other better and more satisfying for both of you. Some of the positions above put her in charge. Some of them put you in charge. Some find a balance between the two. Mix it up. Try new things, and don’t stick to just one position the whole time. If you do close up too long, your legs might fall asleep. Don’t change it up too much though because you’ll throw off the rhythm and put her orgasm at risk. But do change it up. Try new things. And then, later, talk it out. See what worked. See what didn’t. And come to an understanding of what the two of you like.