Wouldn’t it be nice to go up to anyone, no matter what their status and always know what to say? Everyone has some degree of social anxiety. That time you fumbled with your words because the girl you were talking to was just so out of your league. Or that forced laugh you put on when your boss said an unfunny joke. You don’t want to be rejected, that’s the biggest fear of all and where most social anxiety stems from. There are ways to get around it and completely transform your social life so you can be at ease no matter who you’re in conversation with.
1. Meditation
I’m sure you’ve heard that meditation can help with most mental illnesses. I’m not saying social anxiety is a mental illness, but at certain extremes it can be and meditation is an incredibly helpful tool. Sitting alone in “presence” for about 20 minutes per day can help train your brain to be more present in your everyday life. After about a week, you will be able to bring this newly cultivated “present state” into your conversations. You will notice that you will instantly feel at ease and they will be getting super chill vibes from you. There’s nothing to really worry about when you’re in the “now”.
2. Give your brain proof
You can’t just decide to be less anxious in social situations and make it so. You need to give your brain some proof that it is indeed safe and nothing bad is going to happen if you go talk to that hot girl over there. To do this, you need to give yourself practice with real people in real life. Bring your “present state” with you and try talking to some strangers. Building up experience like this is the only way you will change. See every opportunity as a chance to flex your mouth muscle. Talk to the teller at the bank, the waitress at the restaurant or stop someone in the street and tell them you like their style. These things sound like torture for the shy guy, but as long as you feel centered and in a “present” and calm state, you can’t fail.
3. Stop judging others
You wanna know the reason why you think everyone is making fun of you behind your back and secretly hates you? It’s because you are doing the same thing to them. Stop judging others and you will start to lose the fear that others are judging you. Start by labeling everyone you meet in a positive way. Even as your walking down the street, point out what you like about the person walking by. The more you do this, the more your brain will start thinking everyone is thinking of you in that same positive way. It doesn’t take long to change this habit and once you stop seeing others in a negative way, the fear of judgment will stop.
