Why have sex? If you can think only of three reasons why people have sex, you might be thinking of these three: love, pleasure, and procreation. Surprisingly, there are as many as two hundred reasons why people engage in sex.
A study in 2010 found that modern people engage in sex much frequently than our ancestors and for different reasons. Sex in modern times has also been perceived under a different light other than fulfilling fleshly desires, procreation or love expression.
Sexologists said that humans seek only one thing, sex. And sex therapists said we’re programmed for sex. These perceptions agree with the idea that sex is an integral part of evolution and procreation. Without it, human species would cease to exist.
People desire for sex the way they desire to eat. This means the human brain is geared towards sexual behavior. Cultural theorists saw sex in a cultural context, that people engage in sex or avoid it for personal reasons.
You may have your own reason for engaging in sex. That reason could either be self-serving or relationship based. Or you may not clearly know why you want to engage in sex.
In a study involving undergraduate college students, four main categories emerge why people engage in sex. They’re physical, goal-based, emotional, and insecurity reasons. Read on and check which category your reason falls.
Physical Motives
The physical motives people have for engaging in sex focus more on feeling good. If you engage sex for the following reasons, your motives are purely physical.
Pleasure
Engaging in sex for pleasure means doing it with no strings attached or simply because your partner is simply hot. These can be the one night stands, the threesomes, or sex with friends with benefits.
Stress relief
Sex is the best relief for stress because it induces the release of the endorphins and other feel good hormones. These chemicals not only make you feel good but also relaxes your body and mind. And its effect could last for hours.
Exercise
Some people engage in sex because they believe it’s the best exercise. Even if some experts insist that time spent on sex can’t replace the time spent on the treadmill, people feel energized after engaging in great sex.
Sexual curiosity
Sex done out of curiosity is mainly due to one’s curiosity of their bodies. Even children know that touching their genital area feels good. Sex is part of this exploration and ongoing curiosity.
Attraction. Attraction occurs when someone puts more emphasis on a person’s outward appearance. Most often, this attraction is linked to sexual desire.
Goal-based Motives
Some people choose to engage in sex out of a strong desire to achieve something. They see sex as a means of getting what they want. The following reasons are mostly goal based.
Baby making
There are women who prefer to become a mother but not a wife. Aside from getting pleasure or expressing their love for each other, couples engage in sex to make a baby. They never stop until they create one and even seek clinical help to achieve this goal.
Social status
The link between social status and sex is often seen in teens. They’re more motivated to get sexually active in exchange for intimacy and social status. One study shows that teenage girls want to have sex for intimacy while their male counterparts engage in sex more for social status.
Revenge
Seeking sex for revenge may seem a self-defeating tactic, but there are people who do the deed just for this exact reason. Women who have cheating husbands or partners may do it to keep scores and hurt the other the way they’ve been hurt.
Personal advantage
People engage in sex as a means of taking advantage of the relationship.
Emotional Motives
Sex relationships that involve emotional motives are often intimate and involve a deeper commitment.
Love
Having sex out of love is an ideal one. This is often characterized by feelings of intimacy and commitment, especially in romantic relationships.
Commitment
Sex with commitment is not always easy. Most people choose sex without commitment because it’s more cozy, casual, and most of all there’s nothing to lose.
Gratitude
Gratitude in all areas of life brings a positive impact. When your partner rubs your shoulders, makes you coffee or helps in household chores, you can express your gratitude with great sex.
Insecurity Motives
Engaging in sex for insecurity reasons is often selfish and unhealthy. Be honest with yourself and check if you engage in sex for the following reasons.
To boost your self-esteem
A wise guru said that sex is like food, it’s only a big deal when you’re not getting enough of it. If you feel you need to have sex to feel better about yourself, you might be struggling with issues of poor self esteem.
To guard your partner
Giving your partner sexual satisfaction with the intention of keeping them within the bounds of the relationship is not a guarantee that they’ll stick to you.
A sense of duty or pressure
Most people who feel sex is a sense of duty are women who are unable to say no to their husbands even when they’re not in the mood of doing it.
Men and women approach sex differently. Men focus more on how sex makes them feel while women focus on how sex enhances the relationship. Yet as men mature, their approach to sex starts to shift and they give more importance to their relationships. Women, on the other hand, starts to find pleasure when they’re already in a long term relationship.
From the above observations, men and women view sex from opposing ends. Yet, recent studies revealed that men and women are now coming together in terms of sex. They can both approach sex from the same perspective, that is having sex for physical reasons without emotional attachments.
In some cases, both partners can agree to have a sexual experience with no strings attached until they find that they could no longer live life without the other.
Humans are complex beings. Yet, despite the complexity and sexual intricacies, only one thing is certain – humans engage in sex for different reasons and when they’re lucky, they end up having sex for the same reason.
