Having Sex At Your Office: Too Risky? 

by Joseph Printer
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The thought of banging a girl at your office is something you could only dream of while watching a really silly porn movie, right? It seems completely unrealistic to believe that you can safely bring a girl to your office unnoticed, get completely naked, and go to town on her without anyone hearing anything.

It just can’t happen, can it?

While it can be really friggin’ hard to do this, if you plan your moves right, it can happen and you can actually keep your job, too.

You wouldn’t do this randomly without any thought. That would be a one-way ticket to jobless town. This isn’t something you can just do without any blueprints in front of you.

You need to treat this like you’re a supreme military commander planning one of the biggest wars in human history. There need to be exit strategies, maneuvers in case things go badly, and of course contingency plans in case your original plan goes to shit.

This can even be written down if you’re hardcore like that, or just keep your plan in your head like a normal person.

But here’s how to have sex at your office with marginal success and few mistakes:

Work on a Saturday? You’re All Set

Depending on your job, there are statistically fewer people working on Saturday than during the week. This increases your odds of having sex without getting caught, or having to stop in the middle and get dressed really fast.

If you work Saturday frequently, now is your time to scout the area and look for places that could work in your favor. Is there a section of your office that nobody goes to? Is there a bathroom in a weird place that nobody ever goes to? Is there an empty office that nobody uses? These are all solid places to choose.

If You Work Late, You’re Also in Luck

When 5 o’clock hits, most people are packing their things up and flying out the door. Who the hell wants to stay at work longer than they have to? Only nutjobs, that’s who.

But if you’re forced to work late just because your masters say you must finish a particular project, it’s something you can take advantage of.

There’s a good chance that nobody will be around at night, and you could easily sneak a woman in there to bang. Not hard at all.

When in Doubt, Walk Away

Losing your job isn’t worth it, so if you feel nervous or unsure of your moves, back away. Like I said earlier, this needs to be a well-oiled machine, so if you have any doubts, that could ruin the whole experience anyway.

But if all checks out, go nuts!

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